Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Deeper Sorrow/Prayer

I've gotten several visions from the Lord the last few days. I've just not posted them yet. My only reason is that I don't want to really think about them. I prayed to the Lord about this. I've always had this back and forth experience with feeling a need to share what God has shown me and then not wanting to even think about what He has shown me. The Lord showed me that my reasons for procrastination is about grief. I have such a heaviness and such a deep sorrow in me. The Lord has given it to me for the purpose of prayer, first and foremost.

On the 14th, yesterday, I was more consumed with grief than usual. I feel like I am at a funeral. Solemn and sad and in ways numb. My heart truly breaks for the things that are happening now and that are to come.

I am reading Ezekiel now. This is transforming my prayer for the lost. I hadn't thought anything of it. I didn't expect this. My prayers are from a greater grief. They are more specific with questions and things I had not thought to pray before. I am also finding myself pushing myself; going deeper and seeking to be more sensitive as I pray. I want to be God's vessel in prayer. I long to evangelize and prophesy but prayer is the first calling God has given me with most all He shows me.

The first thing I learned about praying for the lost is that you do indeed pray for the lost but you will also pray for the church/the body of Christ. We are supposed to labor the harvest. We have work to do.

After a long talk with the Lord about my procrastination, I realize I have to abstain from avoidance and not spare my own emotional state. Just as I must care for my children and tend to my home, I also must have discipline in the area of my blog and sharing the things God shows me.

I will post the visions I've had in the last few days in a bit.

Pray without ceasing. Fast and pray for the world. Pray for the church and the lost. Stay in the Word of God. Seek God. Seek His presence. Dark times are here and darker ones are to come. end

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