For about 3 months now, God has been speaking to me about Peter. It began at a monthly youth service we have. He simply said to me, "You are Peter." I thanked God for this. It seemed to be a compliment. As time passed, the Lord began to show me how Peter was over the top sometimes. I can relate to this. The all or nothing mentality is something I struggle with when it comes to doing things in my life. The following Wednesday my pastor preached a sermon called 'Following From a Distance' and his subject was Peter. He talked of Peter's weaknesses and failures. I could only laugh as I reconsidered how God had told me "You are Peter." I gained a lot from that sermon. And as time went by, the Lord began to show me Jesus walking on the water and inviting others to come and Peter stepped out. The Lord challenged me to come out and walk on the water, while I was praying. I could feel that this wasn't a simple request but one that would require faith. I did not know what He was going to have me do but I knew He was telling me, by faith, to agree to follow Him. I agreed. I learned the very next day what this was about. The Lord began to speak to me about home schooling my two other sons. This is something I felt I did not have the ability to do adequately. So, this is a big step for me, yes. Immediately, the Lord began showing me all kinds of things regarding teaching and raising my children. He began to show me things about my children and myself.
A large aspect of successful home schooling requires routine. This is something I have struggled with all of my life. I learned recently that some of this is normal for my personality type. Therefore, I have to work harder in this area than many do. God is leading me into routine. And it is one of the hardest things I've ever done. But when God leads me into something, I've learned that most often involves a process. God is a God of process. He shows me something and He keeps showing me more and more and more out of the thing that He has shown me.
I became confused recently regarding several things in my life. The Lord brought me back to Peter and walking on the water. It seems, like Peter, I took my eyes off Christ and looked on those crashing waves and began to sink. Just as Jesus caught Peter and brought Him out of the waters, God's grace brought me up as well. The Lord showed me very clearly 'Don't take your eyes off of me.' I knew this meant that I HAVE to spend that daily time with Him, worship Him, get into the Word of God. In God's presence is where I find all my answers and power. Jesus tells me 'You have my power. Keep your eyes on me and step into the power you have. Just do it, Kim.'
It is not our original position to be separated from God. Thanks to the work of the cross, our original position has been repaired. All we have to do is recognize this. When we are intimate with God and joined to Him, we are COMPLETE. When we are complete, then our lives are successful.
I can develop routines that work. I can teach my three sons. My younger daughter has asked me to teach her at home as well. I can home school them and they will be successful and I will be successful.
Let me add that home schooling was a big dream I had. I home schooled my oldest three for several years on and off. My life became so difficult, though, that I finally had to place them in public school. This was heartbreaking for me. I was so disappointed. I felt shattered. I felt like a complete failure. But as my pastor preached regarding Jarius's daughter and had died. Jesus said to the people there, 'She is not dead. She is asleep.' And people laughed. The Lord told me, 'Your dream is not dead. Many of your dreams are not dead. They are just sleeping. It is time for them to awaken.' And people may be concerned about me home schooling because of the past problems. They may warn me or even laugh at me. But that's ok. If Jesus says I can do this, then I can with His power.
Lord Jesus, continue to teach me about Peter, walking on water, your power, my power and how to do the impossible. end