Thursday, June 26, 2014


For about 3 months now, God has been speaking to me about Peter. It began at a monthly youth service we have. He simply said to me, "You are Peter." I thanked God for this. It seemed to be a compliment. As time passed, the Lord began to show me how Peter was over the top sometimes. I can relate to this. The all or nothing mentality is something I struggle with when it comes to doing things in my life. The following Wednesday my pastor preached a sermon called 'Following From a Distance' and his subject was Peter. He talked of Peter's weaknesses and failures. I could only laugh as I reconsidered how God had told me "You are Peter." I gained a lot from that sermon. And as time went by, the Lord began to show me Jesus walking on the water and inviting others to come and Peter stepped out. The Lord challenged me to come out and walk on the water, while I was praying. I could feel that this wasn't a simple request but one that would require faith. I did not know what He was going to have me do but I knew He was telling me, by faith, to agree to follow Him. I agreed. I learned the very next day what this was about. The Lord began to speak to me about home schooling my two other sons. This is something I felt I did not have the ability to do adequately. So, this is a big step for me, yes. Immediately, the Lord began showing me all kinds of things regarding teaching and raising my children. He began to show me things about my children and myself.

A large aspect of successful home schooling requires routine. This is something I have struggled with all of my life. I learned recently that some of this is normal for my personality type. Therefore, I have to work harder in this area than many do. God is leading me into routine. And it is one of the hardest things I've ever done. But when God leads me into something, I've learned that most often involves a process. God is a God of process. He shows me something and He keeps showing me more and more and more out of the thing that He has shown me.

I became confused recently regarding several things in my life. The Lord brought me back to Peter and walking on the water. It seems, like Peter, I took my eyes off Christ and looked on those crashing waves and began to sink. Just as Jesus caught Peter and brought Him out of the waters, God's grace brought me up as well. The Lord showed me very clearly 'Don't take your eyes off of me.' I knew this meant that I HAVE to spend that daily time with Him, worship Him, get into the Word of God. In God's presence is where I find all my answers and power. Jesus tells me 'You have my power. Keep your eyes on me and step into the power you have. Just do it, Kim.'

It is not our original position to be separated from God. Thanks to the work of the cross, our original position has been repaired. All we have to do is recognize this. When we are intimate with God and joined to Him, we are COMPLETE. When we are complete, then our lives are successful.

I can develop routines that work. I can teach my three sons. My younger daughter has asked me to teach her at home as well. I can home school them and they will be successful and I will be successful.

Let me add that home schooling was a big dream I had. I home schooled my oldest three for several years on and off. My life became so difficult, though, that I finally had to place them in public school. This was heartbreaking for me. I was so disappointed. I felt shattered. I felt like a complete failure. But as my pastor preached regarding Jarius's daughter and had died. Jesus said to the people there, 'She is not dead. She is asleep.' And people laughed. The Lord told me, 'Your dream is not dead. Many of your dreams are not dead. They are just sleeping. It is time for them to awaken.' And people may be concerned about me home schooling because of the past problems. They may warn me or even laugh at me. But that's ok. If Jesus says I can do this, then I can with His power.

Lord Jesus, continue to teach me about Peter, walking on water, your power, my power and how to do the impossible. end

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Dark Times

Today, I read an outcry online regarding the evil that exists in our government officials and in our churches. The attitude of the outcry was one that would defend the rights of people, implement justice and show complete disdain toward this evil that exists, persists and increases. I put me into a world of thought. I know how there is much evil in our world today. I see the horrors. I hear about them. I see the greed, the injustice and the sorrow. But, after having had so many years of visions and dreams about the horrors of the future (some have come to pass, some will happen) and have prayed so much about these things, I can not and will not take this stance.

Many consider it noble to take the position of a Zealot, so to speak. Too often they say that Jesus was one of these who fought for justice, equal rights for all people as well as usurping government authority. But at close examination Jesus did none of these things. He didn't defend Israel and defeat Rome. He didn't even change the situation in the governing powers of Rome over Israel so that Israel wouldn't be treated as unequal people. He didn't preach or implement justice. However, Jesus did teach the justice of the Father, which is VERY different from the justice most people have in mind as it has been shaped by the Law of Moses and to this day is dominated by it. The justice of grace, through Christ is extremely unjust by the view of most of humanity. It forgives murderers, receives thieves, rejects many who seem to be holy, rains on the just and the unjust, says the poor with be with you always and even tells slaves to obey their masters. Very offensive to most people, especially in America.

Jesus taught 'the way' is not the justice we understand by such teachings as the Law of Moses, does not promote a person to stand up and fight for their rights (but to give up all rights as we obey The Father, just as He did), to not seek to impact and change the world we live in for He has overcome the world and we are no longer of the world nor do we live by it's. Christ did not take down Rome. He did not interfere with anything by way of law and government. He defended God. He didn't even defend the Law of Moses except to explain its purpose and reveal the New Covenant God desired to establish with humankind. And that covenant is Grace; unending love and forgiveness; mercy, kindness and peace that surpasses all understanding. God's Kingdom is NOT a worldly kingdom and never will be. It isn't Israel. It isn't America. It is spiritual. It exists with God and all those who make covenant with God through the work of Christ Jesus' death, burial and resurrection.

All this being said, I cannot agree that it is the Christian way to stand up and speak out and fight against corrupt evil, to seek to change or 'revolutionize' the world governments. That would be fighting in the flesh instead of operating in the covenant of Grace which says 'seek God first' and your needs will be met and also says 'ask and you will receive' and 'DO NOT stop  asking.' Grace says  'Pray' and He will supply your needs and your proper desires. Now, this covenant isn't about rules and rights. It's about two things: GRACE and FAITH. So, we are first  citizens of God's Kingdom. God's Kingdom is supreme to this small earth we live in. So what would the Christian need to fight for?? NOTHING. All is won. Now we are to learn how to receive and walk in this victory. So, even if we are terribly poor, we should be at peace if we are seeking God first and not trying to solve our problems in our flesh. From  Job, who suffered horrific poverty to Solomon who enjoyed unending riches, as people seek God and do not lose faith, their needs will be met and they can rest in peace.

That leaves me in the understanding that Matthew 24 is complete in expressing to all of us what to do until this earth ceases to exist as it now is. We need no more instruction. And throughout all of Christ's teachings we have been given guidance. When Christ was arrested and Peter took one of the soldiers ears off, Christ healed that soldier and chastised Peter. He also warned him. We should heed that warning.

What do we do until the end finally comes? According to my understanding we learn and study the Word of God. Jesus says it won't pass away though most all else does. We also pray and seek God regularly. His Holy Spirit will guide us where He desires us to be. We are to watch out for groups and people and churches that do not operate in Christ's teachings. We are to be cautious, obedient and unashamed of our relationship with God through Christ Jesus and 'hang in there'. We are not to lose hope.

Look. We CAN'T let the horrors and evil control our emotions of anger to the point that we disobey or operate in our flesh rather than in the Spirit. Nor can we let it control our emotions of grief and sorrow so that we fall to despair or apathy. We must encourage ourselves with the joy of the Lord and the reality of His victory.

Doing what is right isn't always righteous. What the world says is 'right' very often is not righteousness according to the Grace covenant. It is an upside down Kingdom. Jesus kept everyone scratching their heads when He lived on Earth and to this day, people are still scratching their heads.What is right is what God tells us to do and that, only, should we do.

God is in control. Don't be afraid. Jesus said this bad stuff is going to happen so don't be shocked. Read your Bible, pray daily and operate in grace. Treat others with the love and kindness God has shown you. This isn't easy. Love your enemies and bless those who hate you. Turn the other cheek. Don't stop forgiving. Show mercy, make as much peace as you can. Too many people are taking up their protest signs and signing petitions. Some are even loading their guns. You can't legislate morality. You can't change a government with legalism. You change a nation by evangelism because change BEGINS in the heart. One heart at a time. So, we should get busy sharing the covenant of Christ which is grace. We really don't know how much time we have. And as God and Christ told us hundreds of times, 'DON'T BE AFRAID.'

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Two Difficult Dreams

Over a month back I had the following dream:

I was in my pastor's house. My husband and I were there. I heard laughter from the men in another room. I was in the kitchen making a meal. I was chopping vegetables very finely and putting them into a pan to cook. I was taking great time and effort to make this. My pastor's wife said, 'We like the vegetables whole. You don't have to go to all that trouble.' At this point, I did as she said. 

I am waking up beneath this wonderful, lush greenery outdoors. I have been asleep. As I awaken, I realize there is rain but it is not normal rain. It is very light, like a mist yet it is moving from the ground up, against all logic. I realize someone behind me is waking up out of the ground and the greenery too. I believe it is my daughter, Heather. We both climb up out of this area and realize we must find our pastors. We climb up the hill ahead. As we reach the top of the hill, we look down to see all kinds of strange damage done to trees. We know we must move down the hill to continue looking for our pastors. As we proceed down the hill, we experience violation of physics. The trees, as well as our bodies defy gravity. It is a strange sensation and unexpected. We find ourselves at the bottom of the hill. Before us is a body of water. It is moving water but it is not an ocean. The need to find them becomes more urgent as the dream goes on. We think we see one of their sons on a raft, looking for someone. As we shout out his name loudly, the raft is out of sight and he is seen no more.

We realize a natural disaster has occurred. There is chaos. We are told to do three things to survive. 
1. cover your head with moisture and keep it wet
2. when you sleep be sure your body is tucked in tight and well covered
3. when you sleep be sure your head is not facing down but up toward the sky

These are strange instructions to us and we consider them but our goal is to find our pastors. We are calling out their names. We see more and more people. I begin to notice the people are hungry and are without food. I look down and a very large boneless piece of turkey meat is in my hand. I begin to weep and sob as I see the hungry children and babies. I begin pulling strips of the turkey meat off and giving it to the children and babies. 

After this, we find Randy, my husband. He seems unshaken and very calm. This surprises me yet brings me a comfort. We gather with a few others in a small room. I find a large container of hair conditioner and begin too cover my head in it, as we were instructed to do. The more I put on my head, the more it seems I need. Finally at some point, my head is wet. I tuck oil in my pocket to cover others' heads. I also find a blanket and other things we need. We leave out of the small room, continuing to seek our pastor and his wife. end

Dream Two: I had this dream several weeks after the first one. I realize I am in a very, very green and lush part of a jungle. I realize me and many others have been brought to this place. It is clear to me that it is so deep in the jungle, that no one would find us nor would we survive if we tried to leave. We were being held by an evil woman. Many people were already in this place. Most were legally 'missing'. We were captives of an evil regime. My husband Randy and I were taken and our youngest son but we were separated from one another most of the time. We couldn't speak of God. Our every action was being watched and we had to follow very strict rules. They tortured us with photos of people that were in this place. The photos were Missing Persons' photos from years ago. They made sure to let us know that none of the missing were ever to be found.

There were only two other people we knew that were taken there with us. Our pastor and his wife. We would see one another on occasion but did not dare speak or display certain body language.

The evil woman came out with thick pieces of paper covered in a special plastic. She showed us that they were our new identities. Our identities would be fully erased and gone, legally. These would be our new identities and NOTHING could destroy these documents with the information on it. She expressly stated that these documents were FIRE PROOF. The environment seemed and felt very hopeless. Then the evil woman left the papers sitting there. I knew I shouldn't but I went over to them and looked at them. As I did, they caught on FIRE. I took them in my hand and began running around and saying, 'LOOK! THE LORD HAS DONE THIS! FIRE CANNOT DAMAGE THESE YET GOD HAS CAUSED THEM TO BURST INTO FLAMES' I carried these around and kept shouting this message over and over to every person to bring hope. Then the flames went out and I sat what remained of the papers down. I then saw my pastor's wife and sat down beside her. We clutched our hands together tightly in support and hope.

I looked out a window and I saw a road that we had not seen before. There was a road. We now knew that a path let out of this isolated place. end

The Lord has shown me a few meanings and also shown me a few similarities and connections. I do not have full meaning. One meaning I did get was a warning of spiritual attack. But I sense the Lord is showing me something else also. end

June 11, 2014

God has shown me the following in the last 24 hours as I sought Him. I saw myself staring at a beautiful blue sky. I could see high tree tops. I am in shallow water. It is clear and crisp water and it is moving over me. I recognize my physical position as a position of submission and how I have no quarrel with the moving water as a sign of trust. I trust in God. His fresh waters rolls over me. Usually I see Christ on the ocean and in salt water sittings. But now, this is fresh, shallow water. As I lay like a rock with the water flowing over me, I feel a peace. I soon notice Christ walking on the water. He walks a bit and then reaches down and touches the water as if He is inspecting the water. He does this often. I feel this great thirst. I am thirsty for God. The thirst is overwhelming and I begin to gulp the fresh cool water that is flowing over me. Later I notice a large bird is flying in the blue sky above. I am asking what this bird is. This bird represents good things, though I don't know what kind of bird it is or what it means. It soars and never stops soaring. Finally today, as this scene continued and I was asking Jesus why I am struggling in a certain area of my life He casually but strongly spoke. 'I have already equipped you to do this. I have given you what you need.' I suddenly felt confidence and strength rise up within my chest. I felt very reassured. There was so much peace. There was not a slight bit of concern or worry. It were as if the Lord was saying, 'What are you worried about?'

This scene has not left. May the Lord continue to show me His truths as I continue to pray. end

June 16, 2014

Update: I feel the Lord showed me the meaning of the water flowing over my body. It has a mixed meaning of both conviction as well as comfort. The fact that I am laying still and unmoved by the moving waters shows my trust in God. This is comfort. The fact that I am beneath the water and Christ is walking on it signifies that I trust but I do lack faith to see where I could be in life. I am not walking in the fullness of power than I have access to. The water being shallow is a sign that the distance between being beneath the waters and on top is not nearly as far as I think it is. This is also encouragement. Yet is is also a challenge for me. To have to see my lack of faith and participation in power is a bit hard. But it is a push I need for it is very hopeful. I don't know the meaning of the others symbols yet. I continue to let God show me. I did also learn that I am on a mountain. I had not seen that before. end